In 1519 the Spanish conqueror Hernando Cortez landed near San Juan, Mexico. Cortez had a dream of claiming this new land for Spain, but before he could do so he had to defeat the Aztec natives. Because Cortez’ men didn’t share his dream, they planned a mutiny to escape. To keep them from jeopardizing his plans of conquering and settling Mexico the Spanish hero knew he had to do something radical, if he didn’t his mission would fail. What he did was very brave and unusual. He decided to burn his ships! You see Cortez knew human nature. He knew that when the going got rough, his sailors would get sailing. Can you imagine the disbelief on the faces of those Spaniards as they stood on the white sandy beach watching the flames engulf their passage back to their homes and families? These men must have suddenly become very committed to their task and very loyal to their leader. Their escape route was gone. Their back door suddenly slammed shut. Their only choice now was to fight; if they didn’t they would die!

All right, I know what you are thinking, “this is a nice history lesson but so what?” This lesson in history holds the key to divorce proofing your marriage.

I meet with couples regularly who are having problems in their marriage relationship. Some problems are profound; others are less so. In my experience, the issue is less important than how you respond to it. I haven’t met a couple yet whose problems cannot be resolved if both the husband and the wife are committed to their marriage and refuse to let divorce be an option. If two people have issues in a relationship but don’t have an escape route, they will be able to resolve the problems. If they lack commitment, it will be very difficult for them to exert the energy needed to resolve conflict.

For example, if a couple feels like they aren’t getting their needs met they can learn about “intimacy needs,” how to meet them and how to have them met. If a couple doesn’t feel close anymore, they can learn the ingredients for marital closeness. If one of both partners has had an affair, with the help of the Holy Spirit they can learn how to forgive and rebuild a marriage better than it was before on the foundation of Christ’s love. We worship a God that is in the business of making old things new, wiping away tears and bringing things back to life. The same power that raised Lazarus from the dead can resurrect a dead marriage. But if you are reserving your right to divorce if things don’t work out, it will be very difficult to realize your dream of having an incredible marriage. Your best chance of having a great marriage comes from doing what Cortez did: destroying your escape route. Don’t allow yourself to consider divorce as an option. The apostle Paul agrees. He wrote in 1 Corinthians 7:27 “Are you married? Do not seek a divorce…”